Only a wise person listens and learns...
Wednesday, November 16, 2011 at 02:45PM 
Mentoring is something my personality naturally rejects. I was the first-born, only child for many years, and I preferred to do things myself. As Ingrid Michaelson says in one of her songs: "I could write my name by the age of three, and I don't need anyone to cut my meat for me. I'm a big girl now, see my big girl shoes. It'll take more than just a breeze to make me fall over..."
Or so I thought.
Nah... I wasn't trying to grow up too fast or anything. (Christmas 1989)Luckily, I had a mother who did mentor me throughout my years growing up, but it was hard for me to fully embrace and appreciate that. I wanted to do my thing! Holding those car keys in my hand for the first time was the ticket, and there I went. Now, don't start thinking I went off the deep end and became a meth addict. Rebellion came to me in smaller things, which was basically just doing whatever I wanted when I wanted to do it. I didn't want a curfew! I just wanted to be grown up. And I was only going to a late movie or hanging out with so-and-so. What was the big deal?
Now, I am very thankful for my mother and the short-term mentors I had at church who were always there for me. Sometimes, I made friends who brought me down, sometimes I had a boyfriend relationship that turned out to be negative. But thankfully, when I wasn't being too prideful, there was somewhere I could turn.
For me, G.L.A.M. is the answer to what I probably needed in that time from being 16 and 17, when the last thing I wanted to do was have my mom tell me what to do. I also didn't realize that most girls go through the same things, and it does help to talk to someone about it. My mom was married at 18, and I didn't think she really understood the drama that ensued during dating. She only had one boyfriend other than my dad, so how could she understand?
Here are the facts. Yes, not everyone is the same. Maybe you would feel strange talking to someone who grew up with a seemingly perfect childhood about how it feels to be abused. But the fact is, age, experience and spiritual maturity can muster up a lot of good advice. Maybe your mentor isn't exactly like you, but their advice is still beneficial. Or maybe you know someone who did have a similar situation growing up. What a gold mine of advice that would be, too!
If you're anything like me, you need to realize that life exists beyond your independent bubble. You are not the first person to experience whatever you may be going through, and you won't be the last. You are not alone.
Also, don't get the wrong idea and think I was self-centered and anti-social. I surrounded myself with friends constantly. However, peers cannot offer the same type of support that a mentor can. They are wonderful and we need them, but they are on your same level and have limits to the growth they can inspire.
So at least give Mentoring a thought. Proverbs 1:5 says, "A wise man (and woman) will hear and increase in learning..and will acquire wise counsel." Or as 1 Corinthians 8:2 says, "Anyone who claims to know all the answers doesn't really know very much."
Reader Comments (5)
I can sooo relate! I've had to learn the hard way to respect those who have been around a while and their wisdom. I used to think rules were a curse. Had to learn the hard way rules are meant to protect me and those who reinforce them love me more than life itself. I'm still trying, failing, and learning. Thanx for sharing. :)
My middle name is Strongwilled! This has been my life's lesson, just learning to listen and to not think I know it all. It's like, the hardest thing in life to give up control. I know I'm smart, but still so much to learn. It's hard too not to follow the wrong people too, like hollywood, but when you look at their lives, it's all drug addiction, partying, immorality and they're lives are falling apart. They're mixed up! I'm trying to find the right people to hang with and to follow their example and to be an example too.
It's pride I think that keeps me from accepting advice and correction. It's like a wall that I put up and it can really get in the way. I have to let down the walls constantly and be real. :)
That's a cute pic of you in the wedding dress and omg that was exactly how I was! I grew up on Disney Princess stories and was ready to meet my Prince at age 4. lol! I had to realize there was a lot that was supposed to happen in between and I still needed help and advice along the way from both Mom and Dad. :)
Thanks for the comments!
It's nice to see other strong-willed girls who are learning the boundaries of being ambitious and independent while still being respectful, humble and obedient! We are all a work in progress.
:)