The Time Has Come...

So, Amanda is about to get a bit vulnerable with all of you G.L.A.M. girls out there…

    Just recently I was told that I have ADHD. That stands for Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder. That’s right, at the ripe age of 25, I started treatment for what is commonly reported at the age of 6. I guess it’s better late than never, right? What threw me through a loop was the “H” part of the diagnosis. Hyperactivity? Me? Well, 12-year-old me… sure! But 25-year-old me, no way?! Or so I thought.

    My doctor worked with me a lot to be certain that I really was dealing with this issue. It was true that I couldn’t focus on anything for long periods of time. I left a lot of projects incomplete. It took me much longer than the average person to do mundane tasks, because I was so easily distracted. But where does that “H” come in? My doctor told me that in children the hyperactivity part of it can be exactly what it sounds like, but in adults it typically manifests in the form spontaneity and perfectionism. (Insert deep silence and a big fat “OOHHHH.”) There it is. My “H”.

    I have always considered my love of the spontaneous as a gift. Many people find the unplanned stressful or see change as a necessary evil. I don’t. I enjoy flying by the seat of my pants and living life as it comes along. But here’s where it becomes the “H”. If I like an idea I am very likely to say, “Awesome! Lets do it! How about today? Right now?” When an idea pops into this brain of mine it takes over. It’s all I want to do, and I’m naturally inclined to do it right at the very minute I think of it. The poor G.L.A.M. Team can testify! The perfectionism side of things is also a blessing and a curse. Now that I’m doing what I need to do to stay on top of my ADHD, the perfectionism can be a good thing. I produce work in a timely manner that is well done and complete. Where as in the past my perfectionism played host to a lot of frustration and self-doubt  when I couldn’t finish things as quickly or as well as I would have liked, if I finished at all.

    So why am I confessing all of this to you today? Well… Today, like most days, I’m dealing with timing issues. Not just on the level of physical timing, but on a faith level with God’s timing. It’s a battle for me. I have this built in desire to do something, and to do it right now, and do it in the most awesome way possible. But sometimes it’s not the right timing. When I try to make things happen on my own things backfire. FAST. It’s really frustrating and discouraging, and unfortunately it happens to me all the time. So I wanted to share with you all , as a reminder to myself, the story of how G.L.A.M. has come to be and how God’s timing is really is perfect.

    G.L.A.M. is the greatest example of God’s perfect timing in my life. God gave me the vision for this ministry when I was 18 years old. That’s 8 LONG years ago! With an idea like that do you think I sat around doing nothing?? Yeah, no. Of course not! So immediately I tried to get things going. Over the past 8 years I’ve worked up plans, built logos, websites, and written devotionals. I’ve spoken at churches, and mentored girls. I’ve done everything I could do to make G.L.A.M. happen. In those 8 years God has consistently slammed doors, windows, and cracks on me. He’s obliterated my plans, revealed a lot of error in my thinking, and molded and shaped the calling He has given me. Despite my confidence in my ambitions that I know are from Him, my greatest efforts to get things moving never worked out. Eventually I got the point where I realized that I couldn’t make it happen alone, and if it was ever going to happen He would be the one setting the wheels in motion. So I’ve waited. I would never claim to have done so patiently, but still, waited.

    Then out of nowhere last year, my husband signed me up for a beauty pageant as a Christmas gift. Side note: You should know that one of the greatest things about pageantry and the women involved in it, is the passion that comes along with a crown. Every competitor has a cause or platform that they spend their reigning year promoting, and those women are making a HUGE difference in our country and world everyday. So back on track: Going into the pageant I had no doubt that my platform would be G.L.A.M. When I won Mrs. Tennessee United States I knew I would get the chance to talk about G.L.A.M., but I had no idea that God would use that sparkly hat to open the doors He had slammed shut so many times before. God knew all along what was in store and now G.L.A.M. is here. It’s a living, breathing, active ministry! It’s more than what I imagined it would be. It’s better than I could have planned it to be. It happened at the perfect time. Today, I am exactly where He wants me, doing exactly what He had planned for me to do, living the dream He planted in my heart 8 very long years ago, and I wouldn’t change a thing.

 

Comments

[your Daddy]

That makes me very happy and proud. God has truly blessed you, living in the FOG.