"Guard Your Heart"

Since I work with a lot of girls in middle school, high school and beyond, I am constantly having to think back on what my life was like at those ages. One of the stand out memories that has followed me through all of those ages is the desire to be in a romantic relationship. It started somewhere around 5th grade. I remember a lot of the “popular” kids in my classes were coupling off and I wanted to be like them. It wasn’t so much that I even “liked” a certain boy at that point. Luckily, I didn’t end up with the boyfriend I wanted so badly in 5th grade. In fact, I didn’t have my first “boyfriend” until 6th grade. I say the term "boyfriend" loosely, as we met one night at the homecoming dance, danced one slow dance together (about 14 feet apart mind you) to the song “Strawberry Wine” and then he asked me if I wanted to be his girlfriend. I said sure, and we talked on the phone once a week, when his mom wasn’t home because he’d get in trouble if she knew. We were together for about 2 months; then he moved and changed schools and never told me. Yep, thats right. After that interesting induction into the world of boyfriends, I had a few “relationships” of the same stature, but thankfully I held off on the “real” dating until high school.
I’m sure you’ve gotten a kick out of my story, but I promise there is a point! Thankfully I wasn’t too attached to that boyfriend that left town, but my pride was a bit bruised when I had to tell my friends that I had no idea he was leaving. But, if I had been attached, my heart would have been broken. All because I was so just desperate to have a boyfriend.
Our bodies are designed to be attracted to the opposite sex and crave emotional and physical intimacy.  All of these built-in programs start to show up just before or right after the onset of puberty... which is happening much earlier to children these days. So somewhere between 9-15 years old, the average human body is designed to start having these feelings. Although I feel foolish looking back and realizing how I so desperately wanted to feel desired and to be in a real relationship, I have to realize I was programed to do that, and I know because of that I’m not alone. God made us to be creatures of companionship. There is a reason God made Eve for Adam!
Okay, on to that point I told you I had... Those feelings and desires are gifts from God and completely natural.  However, there are dangers behind them, especially for girls! Our programing is a bit different than boys, we are more emotional than physical. Our minds work faster than our bodies, and this opens us up to becoming attached to feelings and people quickly and passionately. It leaves our hearts and our minds vulnerable and easily manipulated by those who might seek to use those gifts against us. So, point: GUARD YOUR HEART!
This has been the theme of my week it seems. It’s not often that multiple GLAM girls are experiencing the same kind of situation in their lives, but it seems over the past handful of days a common thread has emerged... in the form of guy drama. It seems the population of young men here in our area have found the secret weapon for getting girls to fall head over heels for them, and they are abusing it. With the help of the internet, they are convincing girls that they are the ultimate dream guy by posting gushy song lyrics about how they would treat a girl with respect, quoting Nicholas Sparks novels, and talking about what good,Godly guys they are. They make every other  “REAL” guy look terrible because they know all the "right things" to say to brighten your day after you’ve lost all faith in the male species. It’s easy to see why these young women fall for it, it’s everything they’ve ever wanted! What girl doesn’t want to live out a Nicholas Sparks novel?? Hello!? Have you seen the Notebook!?... but thats just it... there is a reason those are stories we read or watch movies about. They play to our emotional side. They make us dream of what if’s, but they aren’t real life! That’s why we LOVE to immerse ourselves in it! If real life relationships were really like that, it wouldn’t be very entertaining would it? EXACTLY.  But these young men are smart and have figured out how to access that mushy gushy vulnerable emotional window to your heart with one super great unoriginal thought on a day when you think all guys are the devil. Then suddenly you think, “Wow, this guy is the perfect man!”... and hooked.
Let me be the first to point out I too have fallen for these tricks, albeit before facebook and twitter, but smart guys still knew how to play a girls emotions. Unfortunately, I can speak from too much experience that if a guy seems too good to be true, especially via twitter, HE IS! But how do you know if you’ve actually found a perfect guy, or if you’ve been fooled by a guy who knows what he’s doing? Be observant! Look at who his followers are. Are they all girls? Is he saying all of these sweet and perfect things to just you? Is he still single? Are any of these lines he’s spitting out original?... And there you go... A. if he was SO perfect, he wouldn’t be single anymore. The fact that he is probably means he’s trying to play the field with multiple girls, or he can’t hold up that perfect facade in person. B. If his followers are mostly girls, then you can rest assured that girls are who he’s talking to. C. Google those perfect one liners and see where he’s getting them. Most likely they are country songs, poems, and romantic novels... If he’s not coming up with them on his own, you can bet that he isn’t this suave in real life.
I know it seems like I’m coming down hard on these guys, and thats because I am. They may not have horrible intentions, but I don’t think they realize how harmfulness of the things they are doing to girls. Emotions are not something that should be played with. When we emotionally connect to someone, ties are formed.  When those relationships crumble, those ties may be severed, but they don’t disappear. It leaves our hearts scarred, hardened and much less open to what the future may hold for us. As hard as I am being on these guys, the responsibility of guarding your heart belongs solely to YOU! Be smart and observant. Make sure you know the people you are investing your time with. Understand where your vulnerabilities lie, and protect yourself against people who may try to manipulate you. Remind yourself that God has given you the desire for companionship, but companionship in the way He intended it... leading towards a marriage! If you aren’t ready to marry someone, then you shouldn’t be revealing your heart to someone who could break it.
My prayer for all of you GLAM girls out there is that God would be your companion through the times of loneliness. Cling to Him until He shows you the man He has in mind for your life. Remember that He loves you more passionately and fully than any man in any romance novel or sappy movie and HE is ENOUGH.